Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
