Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
