pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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