Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize