He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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