her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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