the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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