trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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