Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
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I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
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You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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