Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
