Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
