Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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