i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
