That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
