Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
