found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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