guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
