More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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