Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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