I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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