wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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