her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
is that a dick in a sweater?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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