everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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