Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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