I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Come see our sink grown plant.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
