i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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