I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
