he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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