Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
