just tell him i said nine months
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize