Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hippo gnu deer
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
