I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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