I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
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I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
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Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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