you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
