Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
