Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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