If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
