So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
