Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
