if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
