His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
