I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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