Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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