Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
