She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
