He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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