I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
