I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
