My friends, they love my intelligence
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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