I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
