i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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