the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
