Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
