Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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