If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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