Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister