I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!