just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
