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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial

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• (801): View more from Utah

  just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was

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• (509): View more from Washington

  after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Except even better, boobs get discounts.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (347): View more from New York

  The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.

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• (408): View more from California

  I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.

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