Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today