How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
