I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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