i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
