I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
