just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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