yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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