Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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