why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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